Long catch up blog....

A very long catch up blog….

It’s been a while since I have blogged… I thought I’d take a little break because sometimes I found trying to compose, photograph, and upload every single day was too time consuming and possibly even throwing me off track… was I ever wrong or what… just when you guys turn your backs I go so far off track that I’m having a hard time getting refocused… I realize where I’ve been going wrong in some areas… I keep losing focus… It’s like I get this wonderful revelation from God and I stick with it a few days then it disappears… so I need to keep my focus where it needs to be… 1 getting closer to God, 2 eating healthy foods to nourish my body, and 3 exercising and fixing the body that I have ruined with gluttony and selfishness for the past 28yrs…

So here is where I have been and what I have been doing….

Thurs, Fri, and Sat I was playing around over in Amish country in Ohio… I had a wonderful and blessed trip… I got to spend some time with my church girls and get closer to them… I also got to eat… eat some amazing tasty and beautiful foods…. Of course…. I didn’t track any calories… I didn’t think about the calories… I ate with wild abandon… I put food first… bad bad bad choices were made… I learned from this that I must stay strong and not lose the focus the way I did… sure it all tasted amazing… but the scale is punishing me for it now…

So here is the confession of what I ate….

Thursday: Breakfast= egg mcmuffin and an unsweetened iced tea… lunch=a BLT on whole wheat with baked pita chips and water… dinner= 2 cabbage rolls with mashed potatoes and a salad and a roll… dessert= iced coffee and a giant cinnamon bun…. I also snacked and ‘tasted’ several things at the bulk food store… not so good idea…

Friday: Breakfast= continental breakfast which was the worst I’ve ever seen… it was only carbs… no protein… no meat… no eggs… not even a yogurt! Ugh…. I had toast with peanut butter, ½ of a waffle, 1 bowl of cereal, and a small juice…  Insert more samples here… including coffee… cookies… dips… crackers… etc…. Lunch: 1 giant chocolate milkshake, a fried fish sandwich, and French fries… Dinner: Carrabba’s… This is the first time I’ve ever ate there… it was yummy, expensive, and calorific! I ordered a dish that had chicken with goat cheese and steak marssalla for a side I got pasta in a tomato sauce and a salad… I also ordered a giant dessert… sooo sooo bad!  Why does bad food taste so amazing!?!

Saturday: Breakfast at a different hotel: 2 small bran muffins, 2 hard boiled eggs, 1 small juice, 1 yogurt, and a banana… and several cups of coffee… ok not excessively horrible… lunch= a turkey salad from cracker barrel+ pecan divinity candy…. Dinner= 1 iced coffee from sheetz… then I snacked like a fiend once I was home…

I had an amazing non-scale victory on Sat… I bought a pair of amazing size 22 junior jeans…

  

Sunday:  I started soooo strong… I had a protein shake with my FRS energy concentrate and I was satisfied… After church I was hungry I wanted something good… we decided to try a new place… it was ok.. The food was greasy… so I dove way off track... I had a Turkey BLT Panini and fries with cheddar and bacon… I skipped dinner and opted for more snacking…   I had purchased this Mrs. Miller’s Peanut Butter Spread while in Amish country… needless to say that became my current addiction….

It was an incredibly fun trip and I hope that it is something we can do again next year… of course by then I’m hoping I’ll have built up some of my will power!  At the same time part of the fun was the food… I don’t normally eat like that… that’s what added to the fun… do I wish I would have made some healthier choices… yup… do I wish I still would have ate all of that… nope… would I do it exactly the same gain… probably 

I was so exhausted from this trip that I went to bed at 630pm on Sunday night and then could barely crawl out of bed Monday morning…

Monday… giving myself a few verbal lashings… thinking about all the fun… all the things I ate… all the things I bought… How to get back on track from here… what I need to accomplish… that I need to be stricter and more dedicated… I need to keep my focus and stay strong…  I need to blog more… I need to reach out to people more for support and to give support… I realized that sometimes I’m a terrible friend… I realized sometimes I focus too much on myself… I thought I had beaten my selfishness, but I realized it’s still something I battle with…

So here I am…. Monday morning… at work… there are some big changes happening… I’m going to be moving to a new department… I’m not thrilled about it, but I realize I need to make the best of it… I still essentially will be doing the same job, but under a different manager… and possibly on a different floor… that is mostly that part I’m less than happy about it… I need to make the best of it and just focus on how blessed I am to have such a good job… that’s often hard for me to do… I focus on the negative and not the positive I’ve been trying to change this… it seems as though the more I try to fix my flaws and problems the more obvious they become to me.

I am attempting to gain focus and stay on track… For breakfast I had a protein shake made of 1cup of Tropican50cal orange juice+1 scoop of vanilla whey protein+ 1 small banana… yums!!!!!!  For my first snack I had a piece of oatmeal bake which I had made a while ago and was hanging out in the freezer… for lunch I wanted to go with something light since I’m trying to really restrict my calories today… I went with two cups of raw broccoli with 2TBSP of Light Ranch Dressing + 1 Dannon Oikos Black Cherry Yogurt + 1 apple… for my second snack I had ½ of a 100 calorie bag of popcorn and for dinner I had 1 sausage link+ 1 slice of light provolone cheese + 2 servings of asparagus… 

Monday night was my Faithfully Fit meeting… I gained 3 pounds… that’s right… I know I know I should feel shame and horrifying embarrassment… well I’m over it… it is what it is… I’ve learned from my mistakes and am picking up the pieces…. 

We exercised for 25minutes at the meeting… I was reminded at the meeting that I am participating in a 5k at the end of this month… scary…

After the meeting I had a slice of toast with sugar free jelly and then hit the sack!

Today:

Weight is going down slightly….

Breakfast: 1 scoop of vanilla whey protein + 1 cup of Trop50 light orange juice+ 1 small banana

Snack1: 1 packet of blueberry oatmeal + 1 blueberry greek oikos yogurt

Lunch: 2 slices of fresh homemade white bread + 1 TBSP of PB + 1 TBSP of SF Jam + 1 Apple

Snack2: 1/3 of a bag of Amish Microwave popcorn—this was a disappointment… It claimed on the package that this was hulless… it was not… there was hulls…

Dinner: 2oz of whole wheat linguine + ½ Italian sausage + 2 cups of steamed broccoli

Randoms: 2 TBSP of the amazingly addictive finally gone peanut butter spread! + 1 mini tootsie pop + 1 dum dum

Exercise: 32minutes on the treadmill + 20 minutes on the recumbent bike

Calories: 1625

That’s a little higher then I’d like to be at this point.  I’m hoping to cut back a little more tomorrow. 

I had all kinds of photos to upload but I’m having some serious difficulty with my computer lately… hopefully this issue will get resolved soon…

Praises: Wow Lord... You have blessed me and my friends and my family in so many ways that I can't even begin to thank you... I lift up praise after praise in your name Jesus... You have given to me a cup over flowing with love... Each struggle that comes in to my life is a lesson to rely on you and trust in you alone... I know that all that I have and all that I am is by your will... God you are good... always... even when I don't see it... even when I'm not faithful... even when I stray and turn myself from you... You God... You are standing there waiting for me... Thank you for all that you have done... I am not worthy of your love, but I so need it.

xoxo